Pilot Not Flying

The title of this blog came about because of my lack of recent sky time, but it is also, as the pilots amongst you will know, a commercial aviation term (also called Pilot Monitoring) for the role of the pilot in the cockpit who isn’t physically manipulating the controls of an airliner.  There are two pilots in the cockpit, and it may surprise some of you to know that the Captain isn’t always the person flying the aircraft!  The Captain or First Officer can fulfil the role of PNF/PM.

The PNF’s role (commercial pilots please be gentle here..) though involves far more flying than I have achieved lately, since they are responsible for, amongst other things: radio communications, transponder changes, reading the checklists, obtaining and recording clearance information from ATC, and also things like assisting the PF (guess what that stands for) with the flaps, undercarriage etc. The PNF also monitors the PF to ensure that they are performing (in human performance terms) their role well and are not doing anything (deliberately or not) that could endanger the safety of the aircraft.

It’s been quite a while since my last post.  In fact, it’s been so long (over 4 months) that I have changed my job and am writing this on a new laptop. During that time, I have also only managed to achieve the grand total of 5 hours flying, my last flight at the controls being mid-April.

In fact prior readers of this blog will recall that the reasons for not flying are many and varied as I’ve discussed before, here. 

Ok, I’ve not been flying but I am involved in aviation with the Air Cadets, I do like flying in general, and I’ve been on quite a few jets lately.  In fact, as an aside, my lack of time as pilot-in-command recently, has been replaced by “passenger-in-the-back” time, and I’ve realised I really quite enjoy that too (and not just the free G&Ts!).

 

 

I’ve always known I’m a total flying geek.  I mean, I bought a car with a glass roof so that every time I drive under the approach at Manchester Airport (or indeed any airport) I can look up and see the aircraft gliding over my head. Yeah, that particular great decision has almost caused an involuntary interface between my car and the central reservation on more than one occasion.

Perhaps not the best idea I ever had.

Anyway, as I’m sure you can tell I just love planes.

I love being on plane, or at an airport waiting to get on a plane, or watching planes, or, even better, the smell of burnt aviation fuel. Mmmmm…

I digress.

So given I’ve been at an airport every week, twice a week (at least) since the start of April, it’s not as if I can say that I didn’t have the raw material, is it? So what are my reasons for not writing for so long?

When I sat down tonight, fingers poised over the keyboard, and thought about it; I realised I was quite nervous about writing again.  You see, I’ve been quite busy but the longer I’ve left it, the more I’ve put it off.  Worried that I might not be able to write anymore, that people might not be interested in what I had to say, or, even worse, that I may not enjoy it any more.

So obviously I did what most human beings tend to do.

I did nothing.

I just pretended to myself that I had more important things to do, and didn’t have the time etc. etc.

I’ve come to realise that the human psyche, or certainly my particular flavour of it, is very good at convincing me that the longer I leave something that I enjoy but have to work hard at, the harder it is to come back to. I convince myself that I don’t know what I am doing, or that it just isn’t worth the effort.

For example, when I sat down on this balcony and opened my laptop, all I had was a blog title.  I had no idea what I was going to write, and I was fretting that I might not be able to write.

Now my fingers are just dancing over the keys, so fast that I have given up going back to correct my typo’s.  I have no idea where this all comes from, or whether any of it is interesting, but it’s just a joy to know that I still have a creative urge. I really had no idea what I was going to write tonight, except that it was vaguely to do with my (partly) enforced lack of recent flying, and that I was going to describe the role of Pilot-not-flying in aviation terms at some point during the text.

What does all this have to do with flying?

Or more pertinently, as the blog title suggests, NOT flying?

Well, you know all that stuff I just wrote about not writing?

Yep, you guessed it, it’s also how I feel about flying.

I’ve got more important things to do, I don’t have the time…

I’m worried I’m not actually any good at it, and guess what?

Because I’m out of currency – i.e. I’ve not flown for 42 days as Pilot In Command, I’ll be having a check ride in a couple of weeks’ time.

AND I’M NERVOUS.

VERY NERVOUS.

I have no logical reason to be nervous, I have every confidence that I will be fine.  I’ve always passed my check rides before, and I’m not saying that to sound complacent or cocky.

I always prepare thoroughly, think things through, try and walk through all the procedures that we will go through during the flight and put myself in a good place mentally.  I ensure I get a good nights sleep and am physically and mentally as sharp as I can be every time I go flying, and a check ride is no different in this regard.

But I still worry…

And that’s the crux of it.

Humans have a tendency to walk away from something if they think they might fail, because society teaches us from a young age “it’s better to not fail than try something and have to admit you weren’t up to it at that time”, well I don’t agree with that, I’d rather try, and fail, than not try at all.

However, I do recognise those symptoms in me every time my currency has timed out and I have to get checked out by my instructor.  Who, as anyone who knows him will testify, is a really nice bloke, very easy manner, and not scary in the slightest!

So, where’s this all going?

Well, I guess this blog post has demonstrated to me (he said as the smoke is still clearing from my furious typing frenzy).  I just need to jump back in the saddle, at the first opportunity, stop hiding behind the manufactured rhetoric provided by my mind, and get back to the role I love most.

 

Copyright © 2017 Dan Roach